I think it was last Tuesday night, I had a dream, a nightmare, of every bad thing that happened. All of the deaths in my life, all the times I was bullied, and then the next morning (Wednesday) I insisted that someone was going to die, because that's what happened last time I had a dream about people being mean/dying, people actually did die, someone that I knew, and either loved or one of my best friend's moms. It happens.
But usually those dreams arn't as graphic, and detailed, and as many bad events as I had last week. And that brought me down. It reminded me of all of the bad stuff that happened, and all of the mean stuff that was said. And that was how Josh was born, that night, when I remembered a lot of Elementary school and Middle school.
I tried to go to bed at 7:30 tonight, I just went into my room, played a CD, turned out the light, and layed down. Of course Josh was there screaming in my ear, so I was crying. Then about ten minutes later, my mom came in, telling me that she missed me, and being creative and funny, and me doing the roller coaster during annual conference. And she told me to play the ukulele. And so I did. And it did make me happier, but the reason I stopped was because my dad told me that he hated the ukulele, he didn't like how it sounded.
I actually hope that someone dies soon, someone suspific. And hopefully after tomorrow after a couple people kidnap me (you know who you are) and take me probably to the councilor, then he actually does die soon, and his name is Josh.
Dad actually said that to you? I would never say anything to you like that because I know that you're getting better all the time. I could not believe that he said that to you. He's a pessimest. Just like when Kia was playing and stuff, even though it bothered me, I didn't say anything because I know that she is happy and she's very creative.
ReplyDeleteRelax-- remember what you post can be seen online forever. I'm so happy for you, Emily. I hope that you continue to heal.
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